I LOVE TO TRAVEL.
the things i will do this summer :)
i miss school.
:(
Discouragement
Sick of this.
I keep getting discouraged from going places.
The only thing I feel right about is serving in Haiti
& I couldn’t feel more discouraged about it at this moment.
Based on the way I look
Based on my flesh alone
I am discouraged & told to “reconsider” going on my missions trip by loved ones
Blue eyes
Blonde hair
White skin
I didn’t ask for any of this
Faithless, I tell you, are the people who are discouraging me
Do you not have faith that God will be present?
Our God is the most powerful source & you are going to doubt that he will take care of our team?
I am being told to
steer in another direction because of my appearance
Sounds a little messed up, doesn’t it?
Just because I look a certain way, people think it’s okay to voice their opinion to try to convince me to steer away from the outcasts of society for the fear that my life is at stake.
My life is for Jesus alone
I want to be selfless
I want to serve others
So you’re going to tell me it’s not okay based on the color of my skin
My eyes
And my hair?
I hope the colors of your skin have witnessed the suffering of others
I hope your eyes have seen the hopelessness of the outcasts of society
I hope that you have never been discriminated based on your flesh
I hope your flesh has been or will be a witness of the Lord’s grace
I pray your heart- which is not viewed by color or ever discriminated against- feels for these people.
and i would like this tattoo…
i want to do this to my hair… SO much.
I feel as though a stranger…
Something that I keep thinking about.
You get to know someone so well, and all of a sudden… gone.
I feel as though this is a reoccuring theme in my life.
Please, no pity here.
I’m just being honest.
You place all of your trust into people who say, “you can trust me”,
but trust vanishes the moment someone:
suddenly leaves without telling you with no explanation,
lies to you,
leads you on,
forces you to tell them your life story, & then they don’t bother to get to know you anymore,
uses you to get to know “more people”,
only is your friend for material needs,
uses you for answers,
forgets about you & doesn’t care to ask about your life,
and stops talking to you for no reason.
Why does it have to be this way?
I stand confused and hurt by the actions of others.
And I know I can fix my issues too— I’m not trying to blame others.
Trust me, in situations like these, the only questions I ask are:
What did I do wrong?
Was I not good enough for you?
What changed your mind?
Is “my story” too much for you?
Am I annoying?
Am I a push over?
Am I not a good enough friend for you?
Am I too ugly to hang out with you?
Is the fact that I care about you a lot scary to think about?
Do I care too much? YES.
What am I doing wrong that wouldn’t allow me to be invited to hang out with you?
Am I too quiet?Am I too awkward?
Is my sarcasm too much?
Am I being too sensitive?
Am I “cool” enough? “smart” enough? “funny” enough?
Is there something wrong with me?
I ask myself these questions every single day.
Though possibly, you may be questioning my questions in relation to my self confidence.
To be honest, the only confidence I have is in God, alone.
I am not confident in myself.
In fact, I try to “prove” myself to others…
I even try to “prove” that I’m good enough to myself.
I’m still learning that I can’t depend on earthly things…
I know that my Savior is the only one I can truly depend on.
But when those earthly things happen to be my “so-called Brothers & Sisters of Christ”,
I come to a cross roads.
It’s a tragety, really.
I mean honestly, most of my “friendships” are a one way street.
I need to learn that I can’t depend on people for affirmation.
I need to learn that I can’t be an open book to people— trust needs to grow.
I need to learn that I can’t ask or force people to be my friends.
I need to let go of the people who have treated me less than I deserve.
I need to set lower expectations for friendships, because mankind is flawed.
I need to be a light in this dark world.
I need to work on my self confidence.
but really,
I need to learn that it’s okay to be me…
I mean, I feel like I am a good friend to people.
I try to encourage, lift up, treat, and be kind to “friends” as much as possible.
I can’t read people’s minds.
I wish people were more honest.
YES, honest.
Then I wouldn’t have to get hurt by the unsaid assumptions.
If we were honest with one another,
I feel as though everyone would be better off.
It’s crazy to think about how someone you know and trust becomes so foreign to you one day…
One incident,
One act,
One lie,
One rumor,
One sentence,
One moment in time that no one can take back
and suddenly….
A stranger.
-Kelsey Nerland-
well… most of them at least ;)
Updated List of Things to Do in 2012
-Go to The Getty museum
-Get an Internship having to with Public Relations or Communications
-^ Or get a job at Starbucks or Nordstrom
-Take a cooking class-Actually learn how to cook-Go to a Korean Food Market
-Go to Color Me Mine and paint a tea cup-Go to SEATTLE and PORTLAND
-Do some DIY crafts I have pinned on Pinterest-Get a tattoo-Read the Bible (more)
-Try Donut Man
-Go back to dance class (hip hop & ballet)
-Get a Canon Rebel T2i and take boss pictures-Go on a run at least 2 times a week-Go on a date
-Paint with my roommates
-Go to an Ellen live show (APRIL!!!!!)-Find a Great Church-Travel as much as possible
-Go to a Ducks (hockey), Angels (baseball), & Lakers (basketball) game.-Be amazed.-Go to the Zoo
-Hike the A
-Go to Flappy Jacks
-Go Vegan for a week-Try a Vanialla Sunshine Cupcake-Go to the Nortan Simon Museum
-Go to LACMA
Usually I Don’t Post Political Stuff…
But this is SO true.
An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama’s socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.
The professor then said, “OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama’s plan”..
All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A….
After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.
The second test average was a D! No one was happy.
When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.
As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.
All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.
Could not be any simpler than that. (Please pass this on)
Remember, there is a test coming up. The 2012 elections.
The professor then said, “OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama’s plan”..
All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A….
After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.
The second test average was a D! No one was happy.
When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.
As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.
All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.
Could not be any simpler than that. (Please pass this on)
Remember, there is a test coming up. The 2012 elections.
